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me. Esmerelda stood on the other side of the door, nervously
turning her small beaded purse over in her hands.
Esmy! I cried as I threw open the door and pulled her into
a hug.
Hola, mija. She hugged me back.
What are you doing here? I looked over her shoulder,
irrationally hoping that Melanie had made a miraculous recovery
and had come along.
I am not supposed to be here. But I wanted to tell you not
to listen to Mr. Parker when he s being an idiot.
Wait. What s going on? I m sorry, come inside first. And I
want to know about Melanie before we talk about her parents. I
led her into the apartment and settled her on the couch while I got
her a glass of lemonade.
As she sipped, I said earnestly, Please tell me how Melanie s
doing. I can t get anyone to talk to me. I feel like I m dying inside.
Esmy, what s wrong with her?
Esmerelda patted me on the knee and pulled out a tissue to
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dab at her own wet eyes. Now Devin, before I tell you this, you
must promise me that you won t take the blame. We all know
whose fault this really is.
I didn t want to deal with the blame issue. Please, just tell
me. I can t stand not knowing.
Esmerelda sniffed a few times. When she started to speak, her
accent sounded even thicker from the emotion she was holding
back, Well, you know that Melanie has a weak chest from her
sickness as a child.
Yes.
I have never seen her so upset in all the time I ve known
her. After Melanie chased you, trying to get you to come back,
she started to fall behind.
Guilt stabbed me.
She turned around to come back and almost made it home,
but she collapsed onto the sidewalk a few houses down. Mr.
Parker had stayed behind to control Jason, but Mrs. Parker and I
ran to where Melanie was lying in the rain, coughing and gasping
for air. She was holding on to her chest. Esmerelda paused,
clearly trying to maintain her composure. She looked off into
space, reliving the painful memory. It was horrible. Such fear in
her eyes. She had pushed herself beyond her physical limits and
her left lung completely collapsed.
I knew it was my fault. I felt sick.
Esmerelda shushed me with a hand on my knee. Mrs.
Parker was screaming for help, Melanie was turning more and
more blue until she eventually lost consciousness. Luckily a
neighbor heard the screaming and called nine-one-one.
I covered my face with my palms and squeezed my eyes
shut.
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M.L. RICE
Are you sure you want to hear all this, mija?
Yes. All of it. Every word. I needed to.
Esmy sighed. After Melanie arrived at the hospital and had
been stabilized, the doctor told us that the paramedics had saved
her life by removing air from her chest cavity with a needle.
He said that if this hadn t been done it could have been much
worse.
I swallowed. What does much worse actually mean?
Esmerelda winced. It means her lungs could have
completely collapsed, or she could have had brain damage
because of the lack of oxygen, or& I can t say the worst thing.
I could tell that all of the color had drained from my face.
I shivered, on the verge of losing consciousness myself. The
knowledge that I had almost killed my best friend and the love of
my life was too much to bear.
So& so how is she now? I asked as my voice cracked.
Awake. But they are going to keep her in the hospital for a
few more days. She had a tube placed in her chest to make sure
that the air was removed completely so her lung could heal and
work again. So far it is going well. The doctor expects a full
recovery.
I exhaled with obvious relief.
Anyway, I knew you d want to know. That s why I came.
I ll do whatever I can for you, Devin. You re like a daughter to
me too. She blew her nose again.
Unable to contain myself, I cried yet again.
Esmerelda pulled me into a motherly hug and said, The
whole world has gone crazy, Devin. No matter what I say I can t
get either of those stubborn burros to see sense. Melanie loves
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you more than I think even she knows. She has no idea what her
parents said to you, and now she s wondering why you haven t
come to see her.
They won t tell her? I asked, outraged.
No, but I will try.
I banged my fists against my thighs. I can t stand that this all
happened because of me. It s my fault, and I want to see her, but I
won t be able to handle it if she blames me for everything.
Mija, you know her better than that.
Yeah, but I don t want to get her into any more trouble by
disobeying her father either! I hate myself for this! I realized
that I was yelling when Esmerelda s eyes widened. I m sorry,
Esmy, I m just so& so frustrated!
I know, Devin. I know. I have tried to talk to them, but no
one is listening. Just know that Melanie does want to see you, and
she s angry with her parents. She misses you so much and she
cries all of the time since you haven t visited. I will find a way to
talk to her tonight. I promise. Just give me some time.
At that point Mom arrived home and paused, taking in the
scene. I was still blubbering, but I introduced Mom to Esmy and
tried to explain how good she had been to me and Melanie from
the very beginning. Mom looked differently at Esmy and asked
me to go to my room while she and Esmy sat down for a little
chat. Something about the steely glint in Mom s eyes told me
she was ready to go on the warpath. A surprising hint of hope
sprang into life in that part of my chest that had, until now, felt
completely crushed.
v
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The next morning before school I repeated my fruitless habit
of calling Melanie s hospital room. This time, however, instead
of having to hang up on the Parkers, the morning nurse told me
the patient in that room had been released from the hospital. I
hung up, and with my breath held I called her cell phone. It rang
four times and then went to voice mail. I dreaded calling the
Parkers home phone because of the higher probability of having
to hang up on her parents again, but the desire to talk to Melanie
overshadowed my fear of them.
I dialed and the phone rang five times. I happened to know
they rarely used their home phone, thanks to cell phones, and
didn t even have caller ID. The Parkers weren t screening my
call. I was about to give up on the seventh ring when I heard a
click and a faint voice that I knew all too well.
Hello?
My heart jumped into my throat. Mel! Mel, it s me! Please
don t hang up!
A startled, Oh! came from the other end of the line with
more strength than when she had answered. With a slight waver
in her voice she said, Christina, it s so good to hear from you.
Confused I replied, No, Mel, it s Devin! I understand if you
don t want to talk to me, but&
I was cut off with, Yeah, Christina, I m okay now. My
parents are right here taking good care of me.
I finally caught on. I get it. When can we talk? I have so
much I need to say to you. I choked up and stopped speaking
before I burst into tears.
Well, I won t be going back to school this year. My teachers
have all agreed to send my work home to me so I can graduate
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as planned. Anyway, my doctor is about to get here for my daily
check-up, so I ll chat with you later. Thank you so much for
checking on me.
I didn t know what else to say and I was still trying not to
cry so I stayed silent. Melanie said at last, I miss you guys too.
I ll see you soon I hope. Bye. I heard another a small hitch in her
voice as she hung up.
v
The end of my senior year was supposed to be one of the
happiest times of my life and I walked through it like a mindless
zombie, just floating through the halls and taking my tests by
rote before graduation, all of the emotion having been burned
out of me. Every time I accidentally let a little feeling in, grief
overwhelmed me. Only our closest friends had gotten to speak
to Melanie directly, and she d apparently told them what had
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