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front of her, the one who had lost all patience with a mother who had somehow become more and more
distant, and Penelope knew it was happening. Chloe wouldn t stay where she didn t feel loved. How long
before she was running away from home instead of just her grandmother s house? How long before Pen
pushed her own child into another family s arms?
Reeling inside, Penelope couldn t move. She almost couldn t breathe. She must have swayed because
Chloe s face blanched and she reached out to grab Penelope s arm.
 Mom?
It was too much to process. She felt as if parts of her inside were crumbling and she couldn t put them
back together fast enough. Couldn t even understand why she was so desperate to.
A hand settled on her shoulder.  Penelope?
She turned, surprised to see Julia Ruiz there. The woman smiled, a smile that Pen finally realized was
just like her younger brother s. So that s why Chloe had switched to French. She should have realized,
since Chloe had all but sworn off the language to irritate her grandmother, but not a lot was registering the
way it should.
Julia tucked her thick black hair behind her ear, the end forming a single round arc back toward her
cheek. Her smooth brown face seemed tinged with worry.  Are you all right?
The question was soft, probably to draw as little attention as possible. Belatedly, Penelope realized the
meat department had several other shoppers, a few pointedly inspecting their purchases, one or two
watching as if this were the latest episode of a soap. She just barely bit back a moan of horror.
 I m fine, she said, her voice hoarse. She wasn t, but she would be as soon as she was out of the
store and& Hands starting to shake, she wasn t sure when she d be fine again.
 There s a flu bug going around, you think you picked it up from your patients? Julia s tone was a
little louder and she brought her hand up to Pen s forehead, which was probably clammy.  You do feel a
little warm.
Blistering humiliation had that effect.  I ll be okay.
Julia s smile was a touch brittle. Great, she d overheard. Then again, who hadn t? But she was still
trying to give Penelope an excuse.
Embarrassed, Pen tried to find the words.  We re just& just&  No, no words were coming to mind.
 You re just trying to get through a difficult situation the best you can. Julia reached out to Chloe,
cupping the back of her head affectionately.  We re having movie night over at the house. The boys have
picked some kind of action movie I just know is going to make me deaf. Why don t you two come over, get
away from it all for a while.
www.samhainpublishing.com 95
Dee Tenorio
 Oh we couldn t  Penelope caught herself at the strained line of Chloe s mouth. Even Julia had
seemed to brace herself for rejection. Julia, who was constantly swooping in and trying to help. Trying to
smooth waters. Penelope saw with unflattering clarity that she was always the one who backed away,
turned overtures down. It had to change.  But I think Chloe might like that.
Both Chloe and Julia s eyes widened.
 If you don t mind me picking her up later, I could use the time to do some& um, errands. Like what,
she didn t know, but it was clear she needed to do some thinking. Some fixing.
 You don t mind? Chloe asked. Normally, she d be in trouble for raising her voice, but Pen couldn t
even begin to deal with that yet.
She shook her head, hoping they couldn t tell that her eyes were stinging.  No, it s okay. It s six-thirty
now. How about I come for you around& nine?
 It s Friday night. If you want, she could spend the night, camp out with my girls. Eight-year-old
Marisol and six-year-old Isabel were as girly as girls could get, but Chloe looked so hopeful, Penelope
didn t have the heart to say no.
 She doesn t have anything to sleep in.
 Oh, don t worry about that. Julia dismissed that with a wave of her hand.  I ve always got my
sisters kids around, I m sure there s something in the clean laundry that ll fit. She ll have a great time
Danny s got a new game, too. About smashing something. She ll be fine. I promise.
Penelope nodded.  Thanks, I think that ll be fine.
 You re welcome to join us, Julia offered again, looking hopeful.
Pain twisted inside her. She d held the friendly woman at extreme arm s length because of the part
she d played that afternoon with Ophelia. As if Julia had somehow been complicit when it hadn t been that
way. It wasn t fair to her.  Next time.
Julia seemed to take that as a promise because she smiled, tugged on Chloe s shoulder and led her
away. Penelope watched them go, forcing herself to stay calm, just in case Chloe looked back, but Chloe
never did.
And that was the last straw.
Abandoning the cart, Penelope took the fastest route through the aisles to the front door, her hands
shaking as she dragged her keys out of her purse. The auto-unlock got her in, but it took three tries to lodge
the right key into the ignition. She pulled out, rushing onto the open road with a sense of panic she couldn t
tamp down. She drove, no conscious idea where she was going. Home seemed wrong. It d be cold there,
empty. She couldn t face being empty.
Her hands shaking harder with each passing minute, she realized where she d instinctively headed.
East of Main, where the apartment complexes filled a block. Gripping the wheel tighter, her heart
fluttering, she pressed harder on the accelerator. If she was going to him, she d go full steam ahead. Maybe
96 www.samhainpublishing.com
Burn for Me
if she built up enough speed, she could actually make herself knock on his door. Find a way to say all the
things she needed to get off her chest.
Stop looking at me that way.
Stop making me want what I can t have.
Stop showing me how empty my life has become.
She pulled up outside the building and parked with a hard crank on the hand break, breathing hard,
feeling cold and overheated at the same time.
She shouldn t do this. It was a mistake. The safe move was to go home, stand in a boiling shower and [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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