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" What does he usually give you for your birthday/Valentine s day, a
less than romantic gift?
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" Do you usually have sex on the first/second/third date, within a month
of knowing a man or perform various types of sexual acts?
" Are you living with him? Do you change just for him?
" If he doesn t like your new hairdo/clothes/makeup, do you feel bad
about yourself or do you say, Too bad babe, I love it!
" Do you usually have no opinion? Are you a yes woman?
" Do you make excuses and crash at his place or he yours?
" Do you let him meet your kids (if you have any) within weeks of
dating?
" Are you always there, available every time he calls? Do you abandon
your girlfriends? (You went shopping and went missing)
" If you have an argument, do you usually let it slide or the first one to
say you re sorry?
" What happens in your relationship when it begins? How does it
unfold? How does it end?
Practice self forgiveness if you have been mistreated by men and release
these men from ever hurting you again. It is usually because there s
something in you that attracted that form of abuse and tolerated it because
you attracted these men to the broken part of you.
If you sleep with the men you are dating, stop! Reject the high class call girl
status and come down to womanhood. Date around but don t sleep around.
It doesn t matter if you re 50 and been divorced three times.
If you have moved in with your boyfriend as is popular these days, move
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out. Get yourself a ME haul truck. I m not advocating that you break up
with him, just calling you up to be a Queen. Can your relationship survive if
you no longer live together?
Do something dangerous by letting him know that you ve been doing some
thinking and you d rather live on your own. Deep down inside many
women want men to really want them, to give complete love and devotion,
and to feel special.
Start living as an independent, confident woman who s OK with not having
to live with a boyfriend. Own your own place, have your own things,
manage your own money and drop the pretend wife title. He may become
angry because he was being spoon fed. He s probably contented and you re
going to ruffle the nest.
Give him time to get over it without being in his face telling him all the
reasons why you ve made this decision. This will test his heart, give him
some work, and reveal to you what sort of relationship you really have.
When men care, they usually want to move closer as you move farther away
from them. It is no coincidence that men usually want to propose or commit
more deeply to a woman when he fears he is losing her.
You have to risk being a Queen in order for you to get what you deserve
being treated like one. If you re living with your boyfriend and you let him
know that you will be moving out, this will let you know if he really does
love you or just loves you for pretending you are his wife. Don t lie to
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yourself or act delusional by making excuses that you ll never see each other
because of your busy schedule. You ve got a life apart from him, don t you?
If your relationship is in a rut, it will most likely go to the next level or fizzle
out.
Completely mess him up by letting him know that you d like to hold off on
sex for a while. Assure him that you love him and really want to be with
him. Don t say why or when. If you really love him then love yourself first.
He ll probably think you ve lost your mind and you re in the process of
joining the convent. O well.
Keep stepping back and see what he does. One step back with your physical
space and two steps forwards with your affection will keep him wondering.
Continue being happy to see him, being fun to be around (as he might not
be), let him know you think he s great etc. Avoid from telling him that
you ve read this book and that you don t want to be That Kind of Woman
any longer. More than likely you ve given him some work so forget about
nagging him about getting off the couch on a Saturday night. He ll be off
the couch in a flash and will stand to attention.
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Chapter 34 Taking dating to the next level
If you don t want to be That Kind of Woman - the kind of woman that men
put on their B list - then there has to be something about you that is
different and unique. There s something really powerful, extremely sexy,
and intriguing about a woman who has assured confidence. This sort of
confidence is not in her hips, cleavage, mini skirt, status, goop of makeup, or
belittling/patronizing men. It s not in her being sexually generous but it s in
how liberated she really is to understand and behave in ways that appeal to
the inner dialogue of men.
The I m it, I m tough girl, I m modern so respect me, independent, sexed
up, wall robe malfunctioning philosophy needs to be thrown out and
replaced by a sleek, sophisticated, charm that leaves a woman with plenty of
options and a man with a whole lot to think about.
Somewhere out there, there s a middle class, upper class, small class, big
class, white collar, blue collar, middle of the road, modern woman who
secretly believes that it s only those girls and not her, she really thinks that
she s Not That Kind of Woman.
If you no longer want to be a lonely feminist who beat men up while
declaring, I m done with men then it is within your power to create a way
of life with values and beliefs that you won t compromise.
Men want us strong, but they don t want us to act like men. Quality men
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want us beautiful but they don t want a tramp. Decent men want to marry
women but they don t want to be treated like little school boys who needs to
be told what to do. We ve gravitated towards norms that nurture the power
chick but fuel a disconnecting of the feminine soul. This results in many
men disengaging from women in today s culture. It s almost like they don t
quite know what to do. Women want attention from men, yet scold them for
showing genuine interest. How often do we hear of chivalry - true,
enduring, passionate pursuit without the fear of stomping on a woman s
right?
We want to see more of the confident and graceful feminine spirit. She may
come in different shades of color, from different backgrounds, have different
styles, likes, dislikes, tall, short, skinny, big, engineer, professor, doctor,
stay-at-home mom, musician, scientist, actress, millionaire, high school
grad/drop, single mom.
Whatever her history, she s different but the same. She, Woman,
Feminine, Female - the true feminine spirit is what the masculine spirit
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